Discipline

 Discipline. At first I thought about this word and concept in regards to my parents disciplining me, but there is also discipline in being consistent in actions. I need to have discipline and spend time with Jesus by reading the Bible, because I need to renew my mind. And I love finding strength in His Word.

Beloved You Are Mine

You are beautiful in my sight
In You my daughter I delight
Your shape, your eyes, I formed it all
With gentle hands and a large smile
I carefully knit you for a while
My hands fell over you as I embraced you
I sang beautifully over you,
"You are precious my child, my child."

I named You and called You

I swept you out of darkness into My marvelous light

To reach the world with your beautiful bright light

As I draw you near I whisper in Your ear,

 "Beloved You are Mine."

His Promise

Jesus I know that you have not forsaken me. Your Word says you will never leave me nor forsake me. Thank you that the word speaks light and truth into every dark place, every thought that I have that I hold onto that I don't share with you, every hurt and pain, every lie from Satan, every discouraging word heard..

Writing Is a Form of Worship

     When I was fifteen years old I brought a journal to Wednesday night bible study. That night while I was sitting on the couch listening to our youth pastor teach I started writing things down as she spoke. I remember being so in awe of the idea of taking down notes while she was talking. I was writing down what I was learning and the thoughts that were coming to my mind. I remember thinking and saying to myself, "Wow, Bev, you've got to do this more often, this was so awesome!". What I did not know at that moment was that those "thoughts," were actually lessons that the Holy Spirit was teaching me.            

    Several years later when I was in college I began bringing my journal to campus crusade for Christ weekly meetings. And I later began writing during my quiet times. I never realized how much pf an impact writing was having in my life. When I was writing I was addressing my pain and hurt, I was receiving healing, I was communicating with the Lord and the He was speaking to me, I was being ministered to while I was writing. It is the coolest thing ever!
    The Lord has been teaching me so much about writing, my relationship with Him, and about worship.
    "I have a well inside of me, we all do. We all have this well inside of us, it is our job and our responsibility to keep it full, full does not mean equal to the tum, full equals overflowing, there is a constant pouring in and a constant pouring out. And whatever I gotta do to keep that well filled, that's what I'm gonna do. " -Kim Walker
    I've learned recently that the way that I connect to God, a way that I communicate with God and that He communicates with me is through writing. Writing is how I connect to Jesus. Writing is how I worship Jesus. I am so glad that we are all capable and able of having a really special relationship with Jesus and that we can worship Him in different ways.
    At times its difficult because my connection with God is writing which means that I've gotta have my journal and my pen around a highlighter and I think its got to be quiet wherever I am....but in reality I the way in which I connect to Jesus really makes me slow down. Its a very quiet and peaceful form of worship in which for as long as I have a pen in my hand the world around me stops and I can totally hone into the writing and Jesus ministering and speaking His truth into my heart and life. I love that we can ask Him to meet us where we are to have quiet times and to worship Him. I can ask Him to help me focus on Him, His beauty, and His words no matter where I am and He will do it. The distractions fade away, the noises around me somehow subside and I am able to have beautiful sweet time with my daddy and I love that.
     Having consistent quiet times are often such a struggle and at times I feel frustrated to be honest, that I have to write everything out. Jesus revealed to me a couple of weeks ago that in my life, if I dont write it out, I have not surrendered it. I felt a strong impression on my heart, "You're not free until you tell me."  I communicate with the Jesus through writing and if I have not written it down and told Jesus than I'm not free, I am in bondage, I am holding suitcases that I was never meant to carry.

A Thankful Heart

    I really am thankful. I realized that I do not normally stop what I'm doing to thank the Lord for what He is doing, and just praise Him. I have been overwhelmed by how he is working, how he is answering my prayers, how He is in control, I love how His timing is so prefect! Its beautiful.
    I am thankful that even though my life is crazy, there is so much going on, so much change, my relationship with Him is constant.
    I am thankful that the Lord has given me peace, a peace that surpasses all understanding, I love it!
I think this is a verse that I really loved reading this week and I probably ought to memorize!
    Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts,since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Colossians 3:15

A Season of Change

  It seems that since I got back from summer project nothing in my life has been the same, it has been a season of change. I'm learning to be a bible study leader, learning, growing, this is a season of change- in every single part of my life. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with all of these changes, but the Lord truly has given me a peace that has taken me by surprise.
   I am unbelievably thankful that my relationship with the Lord is the only constant aspect of my life. I am so thankful for His word.

Proverbs 30:5   Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in Him.

A Mighty Fortress Is Our God...

" A mighty fortress" by Christy Knockels


Our God is a consuming fire,
a burning Holy flame with glory and freedom.


We will keep our eyes on You
A mighty fortress is our God,
a sacred refuge is Your name,
Your kingdom is unshakeable,
With you forever we will reign.

Our god is jealous of His own,
none can comprehend His love and His mercy.
our God is exalted above His throne,
high above the heavens, forever He is worthy.


We will keep our eyes on you, 
so we can set our hearts on You,
We will set our hearts on You.

        I love the character and attributes of my daddy, the God that I serve.
        Jesus es mi fortaleza, Jesus is my fortress.
        I love the safety and security that we as His children are able to find, that gives me peace.

Santa Cruz Summer Project Testimony

    On May 25 I boarded a plane to Santa Cruz, California excited and ready to get my hands dirty for Jesus.  The first five days were spent helping to prepare the motel for the students on project and familiarizing myself with the city.             

    In Santa Cruz we worked among young high school and college age students that were residents of Santa Cruz and nearby cities.  Working on the boardwalk was a great way to reach out to the people of Santa Cruz.  I worked for Miller’s Sun Shops, a company that owns several retail stores on the boardwalk.  I had the opportunity to answer my co-workers’ questions about Jesus, share the gospel, build relationships, and encourage them. 

    As a project we invited our co-workers to our meal times and theme parties where we could get to know them better in a fun and casual setting.  At every meal and theme party a student from project would share their testimony.  We also provided breakfast to Hispanic day laborers, sharing the gospel, passing out Bibles, and praying with them. We also held out reaches in downtown Santa Cruz on Saturday nights, using various outreach tools we were trained on at the beginning of the summer. We held a service called Monday Night Live each week which included worship and a message from a local pastor. 

   All fifty-nine students were a part of a leadership committee: housing, Monday night live, outreach, prayer, socials, and special projects.  These committees were seven to eleven students serving the project in various ways.  I was a member of the prayer committee and was encouraged to be in a group with six students who wanted to learn more about prayer.  I was thankful to pray and trust the Lord with these students to do mighty works in the lives of the people of Santa Cruz. 

    I am thankful that the Lord allowed our project to be united under His great name, with one focus; to share the Gospel.  It was remarkable to see the Lord at work in people’s lives; many of our co-workers were receptive to hearing more about Jesus and the gospel. 

   College students from the mid-south region have come for twenty years to be a part of the Santa Cruz summer project.  Many of our co-workers eagerly anticipate the arrival of the “Christian crusaders” to answer their questions and experience the community of the project. We all loved being a part of making an eternal difference, whether by planting a seed, watering it, or praying with them to receive Christ.  This summer we saw over ten people receive Christ as their Savior!

      Words cannot express how thankful I am to have had your support through prayers and financial giving.            There were many times that the Lord reminded me of your prayers for the project and that in itself was an encouragement.  This summer was a very significant season of my life, I am thankful for all the Lord taught me, and I am grateful to have been a part of the 2011 Santa Cruz Summer Project! Thank you so much for partnering with the Lord in His relentless pursuit of the lost in Santa Cruz!

His Daughter

Friend.Sister. Cousin. Leader. Student. Granddaughter. Young woman. 

     I feel like I put on different hats and play different roles through out the week.
     Growing up my dad would tell me before I closed the door on the way out to hang out with friends, Don't forget who you are and whose you are. I am so thankful that I am a daughter of the Most High King and that I can find my identity in Jesus Christ.
    "So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith,  for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.  If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise. "Galatians 3:26-29

Quite the Journey

I found out today that I will be leading a Bible study with one of my friends from summer project on campus at North Carolina State University. I am so excited! I am more excited than nervous at the moment. Tonight some of the leaders for east campus met to put up flyers around campus to get the word out about our first social which will be taking place tomorrow night! I am so excited to meet new people, especially freshmen and reach out to them and invite them to check out Campus Crusade for Christ ministry!

Romans 1:20/ Romanos 1:20

  These are seven of my favorite project pictures that I feel absolutely capture the beauty of God's creation. In Romans 1:20 it is written, For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities--his eternal power and divine nature--have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.  Romanos 1:20 Porque desde la creacion del mundo las cualidades invisibles de Dios, es decir, su eterno poder y su naturaleza divina, se perciben claramente a traves de lo que el creo, de modo que nadie tiene excusa. The Lord has made His existence and presence known through what He has created. Isn't His creation so beautiful?

Re-entry

   Being a part of a summer project was such a beautiful experience. I loved being in California, it was the best summer of my life. It was challenging but also a great season of my life.
  Its hard to describe the community and atmosphere of a summer project, but to sum it all up it truly is a wonderful community. I am so blessed to have had the opportunity to be a part of the  2011 Santa Cruz Summer Project. Please pray for the project as we are now home and are adjusting to our lives and trying to pick up where we left off in a strange, but familiar place. Re-entry is us re-entering our lives and please pray for an easy transition and for the Lord to remind us if what we've learned and how to apply it to our daily lives.
   Thank you so much for praying for me this summer, I am so thankful that you supported me through prayer this summer. It was so wonderful to see the Lord at work this summer.
Thanks once again for your prayers.

Taking This In

Home. Home meaning...

     I am currently sitting in the salt lake city airport. kind of taking all of this in, whatever this is. this being reality. this being the idea and reality that past 11 weeks of my life was a beautiful opportunity,  beautiful season, a challenge, a blessing, a call,  reality check, a life changing new perspective. Leave Santa Cruz was so difficult, it was and has been  roller coaster of emotions and thoughts. If never been on project its really hard to understand.
      As far as I know I am on my way home: home being North Carolina.
Going back to my family, friends, Wake Tech and North Carolina State University.
     To put what I'm feeling and processing into a brief three sentences: Home is North Carolina, I had the best summer of my life I've l earned so much about myself, good and bad. The Lord answered so many of my prayers and He has been so faithful, I' m in awe of Him and I am so thankful to be called His child, Jesus my daddy and i could never thank Him enough for letting me come on this summer project.

Summer Recap #1

A week on project is:
Monday- work, dinner at 6 and one or two students would share their testimony, Monday Night Live (MNL) at 8pm which is kind of like a church service. we have a greeting, a game, praise and worship, speaker, then on some nights we would go out and get ice cream

Tuesday-in the morning we would have our reflection time( quiet time), lunch all together at 12,
and work the night shift

Wednesday- work, dinner at 6, action groups at 8pm ( action group is a bible study with the girls I roomed with)

Thursday- work and then we all had the night off, so we could have dinner and hang out with whoever you wanted to spend time with/ some Thursday nights at 8pm we would all get together to set up for our outreach party on Saturday

Friday- when staff was here we would have training( the first 5 weeks of the summer) but after staff left that was a free morning (I would mostly sleep-in/ do errands) lunch all together at 12, and work the night shift.

Saturday- work, have dinner together, then we would normally do an outreach/ have an event here at the pan= outreach party

Sunday- church, lunch on your own, free time, committee meetings at 8 and action group leader meeting at 9
committee- each person is in a leadership group that all work together through out the summer to make the summer run smoothly. groups are: special projects, prayer, socials, outreach, housing administration, and a couple other groups
     Action group leaders meet with the four leaders and they run through the lesson with us and answer any questions and give us a chance to update them on how our group is doing.
     Each week we get Sunday and another random day off and so that day is often for errands/ traveling in California and doing some sight seeing!

The Best Summer of My Life

I wanted to apologize for not keeping my word and not blogging consistently throughout this summer.
    Today is August 3rd and I feel like just yesterday I was on the phone with my mom expressing that half of the summer was complete. This summer absolutely flew by and I have no idea where to begin expressing what has happened this summer.
  The last week of work was exciting and sad all at the same time. I tried to be really intentional and invite my co-workers to our last events and I was so excited to have a couple of girls come and visit us for lunch and for our last party.
  As I worked my last day at Sun Shops I was able to talk to a co-worker and tell her about the job that she would be doing because it was her first day. It was a really bitter-sweet experience, but I loved every second of it.
---I have a lot of thoughts and things to share, so here we go.

       Thank you so much to all of you who prayed for me, one thing that I am really excited about is the fact that the Lord really changed me perspective about life and specifically about the job.  On day two of my job I had this thought: I really need to do a great job so the owner of Sun Shops will be happy and pleased with me, but the Holy Spirit totally took that thought captive and I had a quick thought and heart change. Right after that thought I understood that my perspective was wrong and that I need to be working and serving the Lord and looking for His approval, I needed to please the Lord. I then realized that the Lord owns everything anyway and that the Lord is my boss and looked at my job like my daddy, my heavenly father is the owner and I get to work at His store. So I would work really hard and make sure that I did my best at work for my daddy.
      My last day of work at Sun Shops was on Saturday July 30 and that night we had our last theme party, a luau and that was wonderful. On Sunday we left for Yosemite National Park. This was a project trip and although we had difficulty getting there we got there in about four hours and we had a relaxed ride over there. We got to the ledge near the park, settled in, packed our Pb&j and had dinner and worship at the park. We got the chance to see clouds and the sunset over the mountains and half dome and it was so beautiful. We got to pray up there and it was so silent besides the rush of the waterfall and it was such a beautiful sound. Then on Monday a group of 19 of us left at 10 am to go on a 13 mile hike in Yosemite! It was so beautiful and we had a great time on an 8 mile hike through the valley and we got to climb rocks onto the waterfall and it was so adventurous and I loved every second of it. I loved being able to take the time to enjoy hiking, taking pictures, and mostly being in awe of the chance to see the Lord's beauty displayed all around me. I loved being at the park. We hiked for a while and we all left the park around 5. We had dinner together, played some games, and then went swimming. We left to come back here to the peter pan at 11. We are back at the pan, I've started packing my suitcase today and tomorrow and Thursday we are cleaning up the peter pan. If we finish on thursday then on Friday we get one final fun day together as a project on the beach and enjoy Santa Cruz. Saturday will be a long day waiting for my flight back home and I get back on Sunday.
     I know that this summer is just one season of my life and it was been absolutely wonderful, but I'm almost ready to go back home, get in the swing of things, and live life intentionally for Jesus.
     This has been the most difficult, but most beautiful summer of my life and I feel like I could never thank Jesus enough for letting me come on this project.  I am so humbled to have had the opportunity to come on a summer project! Thank you Jesus for the best summer of my life. Amen.

One More Week of Work!

     I am sad and excited about this coming week. It will be our last week of work and last chance to invite coworkers to different events and share the Gospel. I love being here and I am excited to continue to have great conversations with co-workers. I enjoy talking with them and I have made a few friends that I am really going to miss!
    Please pray that we will love them with the love of Christ and have opportunities to share the Gospel with our coworkers in the days to come.

The Word Is Alive!

Since I have been on project I have really grown to appreciate the Bible. I have a hunger to read the word, to dive into it and pick it apart. And I love that its the only book that answers all of my questions, that leaves me refreshed, sometimes encouraged and convicted all at the same time. I love Hebrews 4:12: For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to the dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.


Please pray that this project as a whole would have a love, appreciation and longing for the word of God. Pray that we will be thankful that the word of God is alive and so powerful!

SCSP 2011

      I just wanted to take some time to say how awesome the Lord is!! I absolutely love everyone on this Santa Cruz Summer Project! we are all such great friends and brothers and sisters in Christ. I love that the Lord picked each and every one of us to be here, to share the gospel and do life together. I feel like I can never say thank you enough to the Lord for allowing me to come on this project! Ahhh its crazy.
     This trip so far has been such an interesting and fun season of my life.
This season in my life has been one of growth, trials, learning to trust the Lord, prayer, leading, following, serving, and learning to love. This has been one of the seasons where the Lord has been teaching me what His heart breaks for, what He delights in, and what and who He is at work in. This city is so different. This city is so in need of Christ, love, and forgiveness.
 Prayer: Thank you Lord so much for allowing me to come here and allowing me to be a part of what You are doing here. Jesus you are awesome!

Beautiful Blessings!

Abby, Bev, Brooke, Kaylie, and Brittany

I just wanted to take the time to explain how thankful I am to have the opportunity to be here in Santa Cruz, California. Some days I am still so surprised and in awe of the fact that I am here. I am so thankful that the Lord led me here, that He guided me, and walked this path before me. He orchestrated every tiny detail of this project, from my schedule every week so that I can meet different co-workers to when and where we do outreaches and what student we are paired with. I love that even though the Lord is so big that He cares about the little tiny details. I am so thankful to have the opportunity to be here, to learn to serve the Lord, love others well, and to be mission minded daily. I am so thankful for the girls that He has placed me with. My roommates and I get along very well. We are learning to encourage and love one another well. Each is so absolutely different and beautiful.

Persevere

    I will persevere by the power of the Holy Spirit. I know that this summer was going to stretch me and that I was going to learn and grow and I knew that the Lord was going to allow trials to come while I am on this project.  I am so thankful to know that the Lord has promised not to give us more than we can handle and I am so thankful for His word, for His promises.
   And we know that in ALL things God works for the GOOD of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose!- Romans 8:28

Sisters in Christ

Kaylue, Brooke, Brittany, Bev, and Abby ready for a party!

    I just wanted to share with y'all a little about my roommates!
    I am living with four other girls, Abby, Brooke, Brittany and Kaylie. I love these girls, they are so awesome! It has been so awesome to learn how to love them well and be around them. I love that we are all so different and yet we get along! Ahhh! I love it! These girls are so fun to be around and are serious about learning more about the Lord and sharing the gospel.
    Pray that we will learn to love each other well and be encouraging to one another in word and deed. please pray the following:


   Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of our mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29

Praise Reports from Santa Cruz

    I never realized until about a couple of days ago that there is a real, intense, battle going on here in Santa Cruz and all around the world. A battle for people's souls and lives. I never realized that the reason I am probably so tired is because we are here in enemy camp ground. We have chosen to be the Lord's soldiers and we are in the middle of the most intense battle ever.
    This project has really been encouraging one another to be in prayer and I think that one thing I will take back to campus is having an attitude and daily mindset of prayer.
    The Lord has been giving me different eyes while I've been here. I've been noticing relationships all the time. I'm constantly around different groups or people and families and the Lord has opened my eyes to broken relationships while I've been here. I don't understand why He is allowing me to see these things or feel these feelings. I've been feeling what kids feel, what parents feel while I'm at work. I've seen people cry, not be loving or kind to their kids and to other people around them even though they are all here together, most people here in vacation.  I don't understand why the Lord is allowing me to see these things but sometimes I feel so hopeless and hurt by the things I here and see while I'm at work. I feel a burden and tired. One of my sisters in Christ, a really wise woman in the Lord told me that because I've been in prayer while at work for my co-workers that is probably the reason that I am physically tired because there is an invisible battle going on for the souls of the people here in Santa Cruz.

   Please pray that the Lord will just give us all rest here as we are living for the Lord and being Christ's soldiers. I am so thankful that He is here with us and that He will never leave me nor forsake us. I am so thankful and honored to be one of Christ's soldiers.

Servant Leadership

      I'm grateful to be here on project among many leaders. I didn't realize that there are different leadership styles and Ive been excited to see some of those here on this project. I've learned that leaders don't have to be loud, or really confident, demanding or superior. Ive learned that you don't have to be a dominating kind of leader, now I'm thinking that that is not the best way to lead at all. I've seen one of my roommates and one of my best friends here on project lead in very, cool, down to earth, true-to-themselves kind of ways( I hope that made sense). Ive realized that the best kind of leader is a servant leader, a person who leads by serving the people around them out of their love for others. This type of leadership is one that is new to me and that I have not had the opportunity to see many people my age doing, well, I have not really seen many people demonstrate this type of leadership. This type of leadership can be done in our everyday lives and can eventually be a lifestyle.
    I am so excited to have one of my roommates be on of the four leaders on this project who will lead after the staff leave. I am also excited to be one of the bible study leaders here on project.
    Please pray that the Lord will teach me how to be a servant leader. I don't know exactly what that looks like, but I am excited and willing to learn from those around me and from the Lord. Thank you for your continued prayers.  

Big Ol' Kool-Aid Smile

I just wanted to take the time to explain how thankful I am to have the opportunity to be here. I am still so surprised and in awe of the fact that I am here. I am so thankful that the Lord led me here, He guided me, and walked this path before me. He orchestrated every tiny detail of this project, from my schedule every week so that I can meet different co-workers to when and where we do outreaches and what student we are paired with. I love that even though the Lord is so big that He cares about the little tiny details. I am so thankful to have the opportunity to be here, to learn to serve the Lord, love others well, and to be mission minded daily. I am so thankful for the girls that He has placed me with. My roommates and I get along very well. We are learning to encourage and love one another well. Each is so absolutely different and beautiful, they each add a different little something to the room. They absolutely love the Lord and are seeking Him. I am so excited to be rooming with these girls. The other students on this project are also so loving, accepting, encouraging, and bold.  This is such a loving community and very inviting place. I am so thankful that there is a peace here at the Peter Pan Motel, I am so thankful that the Holy Spirit is here and is moving in our hearts and lives, and in the hearts and lives of the people in Santa Cruz, these beach flats, and this state.

Prayer:   Lord, I pray that we will have pure motives. That we will genuinely seek You and Your face, Your will for this summer and for our lives. Please lead is and guide us. Thank you for your love, your power, your strength.  Lord help us realize that we are here to portray your grace, your beauty, your glory, and who You are. Thank you for choosing to let us be a part of what you are doing here in the beach flats of the city of Santa Cruz. Lord thank you for being about all the tiny details and for the way that you move an work. Lord you are so awesome and Lord I hope that you have a Big Ol' Kool-Aid smile when you look down at your children here in Santa Cruz this summer. Amen.

He Can Meet Us Where We Are

My quiet place in Santa Cruz, CA :)

   I have yet to share this but when I first arrived on project I felt that the Lord was really far away.  I did not understand why I couldn't feel Him and I cried out explaining that if anything, I thought I was supposed to feel the Lord closer to me now than ever before.  I felt really discouraged and disconnected from the Lord. I explained these thoughts and what I was feeling with my bible study/action group leader here on project. She shared with me that with our walk with the Lord we go through different seasons and she was explaining that in this season I may feel that the Lord is far away and He may be teaching me to rely fully on Him and not to trust in my feelings. She said that this also may be a loud season in my time with the Lord where I need to come to the Lord honestly and tell Him what is going on. She encourage me to explain to the Lord what was going on and how I was feeling, explaining that I am doing my best to get away from the noise to have my quiet time and she suggested that I ask the Lord to meet me where I am,  help me to focus on Him, and for Him to just meet me during this time.
   The other day I found a quiet spot to have my quiet time and then as soon as I opened up in prayer and began my quiet time there were distractions all around me. I was really frustrated and confused because I thought everything was going to be quiet that morning. I explained to the Lord what was going on, how I was feeling, and asked Him if He could meet me half-way, if He could bless this time we had together, and if He could still speak to me amongst all of these distractions. I was able to have a really great time with the Lord and just be in His presence and I was not distracted at all, it was so great to see how the Lord could help me focus and how I had a beautiful quiet time after I asked Him if he could meet me where I was.
    Prayer: I am so thankful Lord for how you care about the little and big details of our lives. Thank you that you hear me every single time that I cry out to you and for being so faithful in answering prayers. Thank you so much for meeting me where I was and for the way that you lead and guide me. Thank you, in Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Salty Conversations

     It is so easy for me to have a conversation with people and vent about life, but then I often begin complaining.  I came across this verse earlier during my quiet time at the beginning of the summer. Colossians 4:6 says, Let your conversations be always full of grace, seasoned with salt so that you may given an answer to anyone who asks.
     I've realized that I have been excited about diving into the Lord's word and learning, I learn great lessons during my quiet times, while not applying what I learned. I decided to memorize this verse and others. My prayer is that the Holy Spirit bring these verses to remembrance during moments of my day when I give into doing things my way and essentially not obeying Jesus.
     It has been excited to memorize this verse and to have the Holy Spirit nudge me when my conversations are not full of grace or salty.
     It was also very exiting when my Step-dad prayed this verse over me the day after I memorized this verse. I believe that his prayer was confirmation that I was focusing on and learning what the Lord wanted me to focus on.
    Prayer: Thank you Lord for your Holy Spirit and for how your Holy Spirit can nudge me when I am not being obedient to you. Thank you Lord that you gave us the gift of the Holy Spirit. Thank you that we can enter into your presence and sit at your feet. Thank you that you hear us, thank you for who you are Lord. Thank you for being the perfect Father and for teaching me who You are while I'm here in Santa Cruz. Goodnight Jesus, Amen.

A Different Perspective

    I prayed and asked the Lord to give me His eyes. I don't really know how to describe what is going on, but I see people differently here. I see more than a person standing in front of me, more than a customer, more than a co-worker; I see their need for Christ. I see them, but I don't see the features of their face, I can see the pain, loneliness, pain, brokenness, bitterness on their faces, and sometimes, what is past their faces. Sometimes I would feel that they were bitter and I would feel heavy, I guess I can explain this as being burdened for someone, not being at peace.
   Prayer request: Thank you Lord for giving me your eyes and I pray that you will help me to be a good listener,  give me wisdom to know when to speak during those conversations when people share feelings and thoughts about their lives. Lord thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to serve you here in Santa Cruz.

How Will They Know If We Won't Even Speak?

     This morning we went to do an outreach near downtown Santa Cruz.  We bought biscuits and took them to a store that's similar to home depot where Hispanic men wait to be picked up by any man who needs a worker for the day.  I was able to talk to a man named Mario. He said he was trying to figure out what the truth was, he asked if I thought that God could forgive him and what heaven was like.  He asked how is he to know the truth growing up if his parents didn't search for the truth and how is he to know the truth if people like me don't come and tell him?  That question in the form of a statement really hit me!

    I was able to share the knowing god personally booklet with Him and he knew, understood most of it. He just listened and said thank you for sharing it with me. He kept it and then I asked him if he wanted a Bible and he asked if it was in Spanish and if it was he would take it. I was able to write in the cover a couple of passages and verses to check out and he told me of his upcoming eye surgery on the 25th  of July. He thanked me and said that He would read it.
    Prayer request: That the Lord would reveal himself through his word and that He will see that the Lord is the way the truth and the light.
    Praise report:  Relationships with room mates are wonderful, we have been able to pray with each other, and laugh together and build each other up. These girls are so wonderful! I am so glad the Lord put us all together!

Life Working on the Boardwalk

     I am working for a family company called Sun Shops that owns about twelve surf shops/kiosks in Santa Cruz, around eight of those are on the boardwalk. I thought I was going to be working for this company on the boardwalk in one store for the entire summer. I started work last Saturday June 4th I believe and have been in a different shop every day, I was not expecting or wanting the above.
       I know that the reason we are working these jobs is to share Christ and I was really upset with being thrown into this job and not having someone hold my hand through my first couple days of work. I d. This job is in some ways my first job and I was discouraged because was overwhelmed with learning all about working in a retail business and also being mission minded; I was wanting to have conversations with co-workers pr getting to know them like I wanted to. On Wednesday and Thursday, my third and fourth day on the job, I worked at a store all by myself, let me clarify.  My third day of work I was scheduled to work at a store all by myself, I was excited and really nervous, but excited to be by myself because I needed some alone time. After about five hours of working by myself, I was done being along and the following day I had to work in a kiosk. I was discouraged because I was not really building relationships with coworkers and was not engaging them in spiritual conversations or inviting them to events. I was really discouraged and I cried out to the Lord explaining how I felt and all my thoughts. I really want to learn to come to the Lord and vent all the time and constantly to be in prayer.
      On Friday, my fifth day on the job, I met a guy named Edgar, we worked together in a small space where people buy pictures of their expressions at the top of the massive drop of a popular water ride here on the boardwalk. Here we are known as "Christian Crusaders," and coworkers often ask if what we are. He asked if I was a "crusader" at the beginning of the work day and I didn't think too much of it. Through out the day we got to know each other and then asked if I grew up in religion. And later asked what the difference between Catholicism and Christianity was. He has great questions and is hungry for truth and I am thankful for the opportunity to answer his questions, share my testimony, and the Gospel with him.  He listened intently and said that it was the second time someone has explained the Gospel.
    Prayer request: Please pray that his eyes will be opened to the truth and that he will continue to hungrily seek the truth. He has been to crusade summer project events before and says he is interested in coming to the barn party this Saturday June 18th, please pray that the Lord will continue to soften His heart.

Taking In the Scenery

     I made it to California! I am so excited to be here.  I arrived yesterday and have been working hard alongside eight other students and the staff here.  Yesterday I would look around and kind of shake my head in disbelief.  I couldn't believe that I was here, its crazy to talk about being excited about summer project with friends and family and then to be here.  I'm just taking it all in.  There are about 50 to 60 thousand people living in this city.  Ive seen many with out homes, some as young as I am.  Please pray that the Lord will remind the students on this project that our hope is found in the Lord and to speak with excitement about this beautiful hope.
      I know I am here for a reason and that the Lord wants me here.  I look around and for the first time I don't see buildings, but so many faces, a spiritually needy city/community.  We are essentially setting up in the enemy's camp, but I believe the Lord desperately wants to see Santa Cruz claimed for Him, and truly captivated by the opportunity to have a relationship with Him.  I am thankful that we have access to the Prince of Peace, to our Heavenly Father.

    This blog is here to tell of this adventure and I would love to end each blog post with a prayer request and praise report. There is power and prayer and I am excited to also share praise reports, reports about the Lord answering prayers.  Thank you to those who have been in prayer for me through out this journey of coming on project.  I am so thankful for your prayers!
      PRAYER REQUEST:  Please pray that we (all 60 students on summer project) will go out into this community, even if its just to run an errand, pray that we will be light, salty, and showcase hope and love that we find in Christ on our faces and through our actions.
  PRAISE REPORT: all students arrived safely to help set up the Peter Pan.  thank you for those who have prayed specifically for peace, getting ready, traveling, and arriving here is quit adventurous but this whole process, from the praying while filling out the application to arriving-- I have had an overwhelming, indescribable peace that I am in awe of. Thank you for praying for peace. I feel His peace and it is amazing.

"Nothing Is More Beautiful"

I came across this quote today:

Develop an authentic, adventuresome and risky faith, one willing to follow God wherever He leads. Don't mistake femininity for passive, inactive faith. Are you willing to get in the trenches and get a little dirt on your face for Christ? Nothing is more beautiful.

I think I'm going to change the wording around a little and make it a prayer for this summer. I love this!

Sharing the Gospel in California

 Back in the fall of 2010 I knew where and how I wanted to spend summer of 2011 and it was selfishly.  I heard more about summer projects at a Campus Crusade for Christ winter conference. It was there that I prayed that the Lord would show me what He wanted me to do with this summer.  I had my eyes set on applying to go to on a summer project to South America and after attending an information session about this particular summer project I was approached by a leader at the conference who is also on NCSU Campus Crusade for Christ staff. He asked me what my plans were for this summer and asked me if I would consider going to Santa Cruz, California.  He said that there is a Spanish speaking population there and He suggested getting a little more grounded and equipped by going on a state side summer project instead of an international also being that I am a freshmen, I still have time to go on other projects. During that conference I was convicted on selfishly wanting to spend my summer. And one student during that conference was talking about summer project and was convicted of filling her name into her summer and she felt the Lord asking her if she would fill His name into her summer. I felt that the Lord was asking me that same question and He changed my perspective. I got home from encounter and applied to go on a summer project to Santa Cruz, California. I was selected to go on this summer project back in March and I was so excited!
The Lord has led me to share the gospel in Santa Cruz, California and I am really excited!!
    I found out a couple of weeks ago that I will be working at Miller's Sun Shops!Its so silly, but when I was younger I had the desire to work in a surf shop. I always looked up at the girl who worked as a cashier at a surf shop whenever I would visit the beach and go to a surf shop to get a t-shirt. I always thought that when I was a "grown-up" I would  live near the beach and maybe even work at a surf shop.  I am really excited about working there, meeting my co-workers, and building relationships with them.
   A lot of my friends are going really excited about summer project and I am too, but it has not I guess you could say, "hit me yet" or "reality hasn't sunk in" that I am going to California for 11 weeks. Its crazy awesome. I don't think it will sink in until I set my feet in the San Jose Airport or maybe it wont hit my until I got to sleep and then wake up in California. AHHH I am so excited!! And I feel so blessed to be able to go.
  I realized a couple of months ago that I have always trusted the Lord to keep me physically safe and to always provide for meals. I wanted to step out on faith and trust the Lord. The Lord has provided over $2226 and I am continuing to trust the Lord to provide $1174.  I am really excited to step out on faith and to continue trusting the Lord with providing all of my needs for this summer and the rest of my life.
  I am praying that I will learn more about the Lord and that He will continue to change my heart.  I am so captivated by who He is and how He moves. I am so excited to see Him work this summer.
  I am planning on blogging and I pray that you will be encouraged by how the Lord works this summer. I've never declared to friends that I have a blog and blogging is still new to me. I hope that you will see my heart for the Lord through this blog and be blessed to read about how He is working in the hearts and lives of people in California.
    Update: It is May 18 and the Lord has provided and the project fee of $3400 and I am trusting Him to provide money for food throughout the summer. The estimated costs for food this summer is $700 and I have $50 of that amount today.  If you would like to give you can give online securely at https://give.ccci.org/give , type in Beverly Benitez into the search bar and give securely online.  Trusting the Lord has been a journey.
   At some points I doubted the Lord, but then I prayed that the Lord would help me in my unbelief and help me to trust Him. I knew that if He wanted me to go that He would provide for me to go and He has!! I am so excited and humbled to think that the Lord has chosen to send me to California this summer. Please pray that I will decrease and that the Lord would increase. Please pray that even in my excitement in talking with unbelievers and believers about the Lord that I will become sensitive to the Holy Spirit at all times.

Singing a Song of Hope

I was singing in the car to a beautiful song tonight. I don't know the name of it, but a part of the chorus is: Just to know You and be loved is enough. The message and value of that sentence is amazing as I am finally starting to understand that only the Lord can and ever will satisfy the deepest desires of my heart and life. I love that every day I find that I need Him more and more. I love that I am getting to the point where I can say in agreement with that artist, yes, just to know the Lord and be loved by Him is enough.

Thank you Jesus for who You are and all that You are to me. Hallelujah, He is enough and His love is so deep!
P.S. The song I was singing to was Song of Hope by Robbie Seay Band

Better Than A Hallelujah.

"We pour out our miseries.

God just hears a melody.

Beautiful the mess we are, the honest cries of broking hearts"...lyrics from an Amy Grant song that I absolutely love.

 I believe that the Lord has His arms extended towards us wide open.  

      There have been many moments in my life where I have been just completely overcome with emotions and I come absolutely broken and I cant even speak and its beautiful to have a sister in Christ come over and pray for me when I cant even speak. I had the opportunity to pray with and cry with a beautiful sister in Christ as we both came realizing our brokenness and how the Lord wants and can use us. He can use us to reach others with His hope and love, even while we are so broken and are in need of healing. I am so glad that the Lord's promise to complete the work that He has started in us. I love that we can come to Him with a breaking heart and come to Him as we are, wherever we are. For a sister in Christ and I that was on a beautiful, Saturday morning at a horse farm as we looked out at two beautiful horses. The account of this beautiful morning is one that I will never forget, but one that I will always remember and keep treasured in my heart as a beautiful opportunity to come to the Lord completely broken and humbled, and in awe of how he orchestrates events and friendships and life! 

      "Society teaches us that anything less than perfect is unsuitable, undesirable, unusable, and unattractive...but pure reality teaches is that the Lord loves and uses flawed, unattractive, and broken--the apparently useless things of this world--to accomplish His greatest works."-- Kim Meeder

       I love the above quote, I love that the Lord can and loves using us, the broken to touch others and in the process He heals us. Its beautiful. Crying is okay, its great. Its not a sign of weakness, its a sign of healing and of vulnerability. The Lord sees those tears as precious because that's exactly what they are to Him. The Lord wants us to come as we are and I'm not ashamed to say that many of those moments are when,  we pour out our miseries and God just hears a melody, beautiful the mess we are. The honest cries of breaking hearts are better than a hallelujah. 

When His Peace Falls

      It is crazy to think about how ridiculous I act when I am trying to figure out what to do about something. I always try to get all the details and plan and think about things, and I run frantically. And later, not before, later after I've thought about something and I get all flustered about making a decision I decide to pray. Praying about every decision should be my first thought not my last. And its ridiculous how I get all worked up and then I give things to the Lord, acting as if I could handle them all myself, what a crazy thought.

     When I was trying to decide whether to go on a summer project, where, and if I should apply I started off by praying about it and I got this uncertain feeling about whether I should aply or not, I was uncertain because the Lord was not answering my prayer yet. I gave my summer to Him and asked Him to confirm whether He wanted me to go on a summer project with Campus Crusade this summer, by allowing me to get accepted. I truly surrendered it to the Lord, but I was a little anxious during the final days before I was supposed to find out if I was selected. I was selected for the trip three days after the deadline, but that was okay. The Lord wanted to tell me in His timing, His, not mine. I truly was perfect timing and I believe that He wanted me to trust Him in whatever the outcome was, because I had surrendered it to Him.

     Its so interesting to think about how I felt the second after Dawn told me that I had been selected to be a part of the Santa Cruz, California 2011 summer project. I said, "yes, awesome,: I did not scream, but I was really excited and in that moment I felt this "yeah, okay" moment.  Its like everything stops and all the noise of the world fades and I quietly say to myself,  "yeah, okay."I can't wait to experience these moments through out my life because they are precious. I can't describe it, but those are the two words that I say, think to myself when the Lord's plans are revealed to me and His peace falls over me and I am left speechless.   

Let Go and Embrace Beautiful Surrender

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.Jeremiah 29:11

  I would read this over and over and it was head knowledge but I don't think I actually took it to heart... I guess you could say.  I was okay with the idea of Jesus having control over certain parts of my life and I wanted a piece or two for myself. Essentially I was saying to the Lord that I was okay with trusting Him with w, x, and y, but z, I wanted z, because well, I trusted myself more than the Lord. To write that sounds crazy, to say that out loud sounds crazy, but inside that's essentially what I was saying to the Lord through my actions, attitude, and heart, and He knew it.

  At encounter I surrendered my year to Him and asked Him to do whatever He wanted to with it, that I didn't want control over any part of it and then...for me the even scarier part of it was... to say to the Lord that He could have my heart. Surrendering according to Merriam Webster is:

"to give up completely "    Surrendering means to does not include adding a condition on something, but instead to give something over to the Lord 100%, not 99.99%.

   I was prideful, thinking I knew what was best for me, but when I surrendering, it was beautiful and the outcome is greater and so much more...beautiful...might be the word I'm looking for...okay so I'll go with that...its more beautiful and its just right, its more beautiful than anything I could have ever come up with on my own. Because really....what do I know?

   Surrendering and giving the Lord 100 % control is so awesome. The above ties into a part of my life that I was holding onto and was not surrendering to the Lord, but I am not going to post yet, somethings are mean to be shared and other lessons are whispered quietly from the Lord just for my heart and this one was for my heart only.  I will say that its liberating to let go of control...the above situation is part of a beautiful story that one day I will get to tell....but for right now, I'll leave you with a link to a video that I think best ties my thoughts and heart on this post together.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSsRVQzUv6Q

Let go and embrace beautiful surrender.

Time With Jesus

 The world often sees valentines day as the worst day ever for single men and women. While Valentine's was absolutely lovely here. I spent time with my first love, the creator of love, and the One who died on the cross for me because He loves me so much. I spent time with the Lord in the word and in prayer for those girls and men who do not feel loved, were depressed, were contemplating suicide, and for believers, to wake up and realize that this is another great day, just like any other day that we can share about the Lord's love and how powerful and transforming it is. Believe it or not its a fact, the most suicides are committed on valentine's day, I pray that one day that fact, or statistic won't be true anymore. So from here on out, earthly view of valentine, "significant other" or not, I will continue to spend beautiful time with the Lord and in prayer.

Resting Well

   Close to a month for Christmas break was spent resting, but not spent well. Time wasted watching television and surfing the web overwhelms me and makes me a bit squeamish. Precious time slipped through my fingers. Life and purpose exists beyond what I fix my eyes upon. 
   Challenged and weighed down by past decisions there is a desire to spend time resting in the company of loved ones, living and loving intentionally.

Eternal Perspective

    When I was getting ready to leave Encounter, the winter conference held by Campus Crusade for Christ, I was anxious and scared, ready to go home and yet uneasy. Mixed emotions would be the best way to describe my demeanor. I was ready to start over, to in a way start over with the relationships that I was a part of and ready to view my day, life, others, and the Lord in a completely different manner.

      During Encounter the speakers told us about the perspective, and focus we should have, and I was convicted. I have been very, very selfish this semester as a new college student. I think, well, I'll admit that I was walking around a little straighter, my mentality was something like this: "Oh look, Bev is in college, nice. this is good. I was walking around, but not noticing that I was in my own little world, the world that revolved around, me. Yeah. That focus, was selfish, that focus, was not on others. A lot of times I get caught up in what am I going to do in the future? Future sometimes meaning  major, what am I doing later today with my friends, and basically, what am I doing in the future that will benefit... Bevy.

      The Lord convicted me BIG time and I am so grateful that He spoke to me about my focus. I am working on, putting into practice, having a different perspective on life, that I believe must first begin as a day by day conscious effort. I am working on, having an eternal perspective. Looking at others, and how I can show Christs' love for them and building relationships that may one day, Lord willing, give me the opportunity to share the HOPE that I have IN CHRIST. My step dad has told me many times that when we arrive in Heaven the only two things we will have is our salvation and the relationships we have with other people. I believe the Lord built us for relationships, because He wants to have a relationships with each and everyone of us.

      Tomorrow is my first day of the second semester of my freshman year of college and I want to be focused on the eternal perspective. I will be praying that the Lord will help me and that the Holy Spirit will nudge me when I need to adjust my heart, attitude, and eyes.

   Here is a song that reminds me to have an eternal perspective. My own little world by Matthew West

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9Yasgzjc0w