Will You Help Me Attend the She Speaks Conference?

“She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” Proverbs 31:26

The She Speaks Conference is a life-changing conference for women seeking to step out in the passion God has placed on their heart. Hosted by Proverbs 31 Ministries (501(c)3), She Speaks encourages and equips women to make the most of their messages, communicating God's Word through:

She Writes: (Writers Track) From basic writing guidelines to preparing an article or manuscript for submission, and everything in between. In addition, the opportunity to meet one-on-one with some of the top editors, publishers, and literary agents in the Christian market.

She Speaks: (Speakers Track) Whether speaking in a large arena or leading Bible studies in church, participants will be equipped with the tools needed to effectively share the Word of God, create a bio sheet, market her ministry, and give successful presentations.

   Over the past year and a half the Lord has placed a desire in my heart to be a writer and has shown me that writing truly is a form of worship! I asked the Lord to show me how and when to pursue this desire he has placed in my heart and I believe He wants me to take a step of faith and attend She Speaks.  I am very excited about attending this conference and I am trusting the Lord to provide financially. The conference registration fee is $650.00. Will you prayfully consider partnering with me through a financial contribution towards a scholarship?

As you feel led to join me in this exciting call, there are two ways to participate.

Call Proverbs 31 Ministries at

877-731-4663 to contribute by credit card;

 or send a check payable to Proverbs 31 Ministries to:

Proverbs 31 Ministries

She Speaks Scholarship/Beverly Benitez

616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road

Matthews, NC 28105

Please be sure to designate the scholarship in my name in order to credit my scholarship fund. You will be receipted for your tax-deductible donation. For more information: www.shespeaksconference.com or you can e-mail me at beverly0517@hotmail.com

 Thank you for your prayers and support!

-Beverly Benitez

Letting Go of the Barbie Mentality and the Lies

      Here are a few of my memories and thoughts about Barbie. When I was young I owned several barbies. At the time I thought Barbies were beautiful toys with beautiful hair, colored eyes, and skin color. I do remember I began with one barbie and at some pointed accumulated on too many. And I will confess that a family member purchased, in my young eyes a "hot pink and super cute" limo when really it was a materialistic Pepto-Bismol piece of plastic with four wheels! Yes a Barbie and her Pepto-Bismol colored vehicle are not awful toys, but I have picked up on one message Barbie sent to our culture.
     Now looking back, I do believe the "cute" look and idea of having a barbie and accessorizing her is really a message and comment on our culture. Barbie was believed to be a strong and yet fierce-plastic representation of what a woman ought to look like and be like...yuck! How sad that some of us have at some point bought into the lie of what beauty is or ought to look like and it takes us back to a I am not at all familiar with the way in which Barbie progressed or "grew up," but its so intense. Yes, she's a plastic doll, but there is something deeper here, something very heavy about the message and the power behind this tan piece of plastic. Without doing any researching on the production, accessories, and life of Barbie and what she "offered" young girls of the generation in which she was produced I do believe a few things about Barbie.
     Barbie developed and changed. Barbie was all about the pinkest, the cutest, the newest, the boldest, the biggest, and the better "it" item. Barbie was on the go. Barbie was all about dropping everything she was doing to pursue the biggest and newest thing.
      This whole idea and thinking was revealed to me I believe by the Holy Spirit while I was driving in the car and today. I was driving in the car and this woman very quickly and obviously zoomed by me and in frustration and a certain degree of surprise I said aloud, "see ya later Barbie!" I honestly was so surprised that I said that, I have no idea where that came from, obviously my heart. And then I though to myself, why in the world did I call her, "Barbie," and then it hit me, Barbie is always so on the go and all about whats next.
       I know that I am a busy college student and our culture is all about having a plan, knowing whats next, and being on the go. I don't want to be so into what is next in life that I forsake and miss out on the right now. I want to make the most of the beautiful and blessed present.  I often do have a Barbie mentality and I want to rest in Jesus where I am and take one step at a time. In everything I want to be in step with the Holy Spirit and I want to walk with my Dad in every season. I'll pray that He helps me to let go of the Barbie mentality and the lies.

Trust

Taking time to listen
Resting in Jesus
Understanding His ways are higher
Sitting at His feet in prayer
Thanking Him for what He will do/for how He will lead and guide us

I want to learn what it means to trust Jesus. I am sure it is not a lesson I can learn in one day. Trusting Jesus is a daily act, a daily action.

"Hearts" is the title

      In keeping with the freedom mission on this blog and honesty, no matter how serious, funny, or embarrassing; here is a key-hole sized view into my past. I know I wrote this twelve years ago today, I was seven years old. I don't know what all had happened up to this point, I'm not sure if I had started my personal relationship with Jesus at this point, but I do know that the Holy Spirit had been revealing Jesus' MAD CRAZY HUGE AWESOME WONDERFUL love for ME!
    I remember that I was in first grade when I began having a personal relationship with Jesus. I also remember that I would often write about Jesus in many of my school assignments, whether He was the prompt or not.
    One afternoon last week I looked through one box that contained several writing journals, assignments, art work, and small treasures my mom had saved from the precious first grade. When I think first grade I think of my funny drawings and multiple misspelled words written in awful handwriting with letters in all different sizes.
    The picture above shows my thought process and what I had been learning, its sporadic, honestly probably very similar to this and other blog posts. In the picture its obvious that I started off with writing about shapes, then to hearts, then to Valentine's Day and crossed on over into God's love. I love that I thought of Jesus first when I thought about valentine's day, that is very special and sweet.
     I really do want to be able to say that Jesus is my first love. I want to proclaim that having a relationship with Jesus is the most beautiful and satisfying relationship I will ever have. In the next couple days I will be praying for an opportunity to share with someone that I will forever and always have a Valentine to spend time with on Valentine's day and His name is Jesus.I pray that my focus on valentine's day from this point forward, single or in a relationship that I will spend time with my first love, with my forever Valentine named Jesus and then possible get excited about spending a later part of the day with a man the Lord has placed in my life at the time. Jesus loves me so much and created me to have a personal relationship with Him. He created YOU for the same purpose!
   The world views February 14th as single's awareness day...that's a bunch of none sense. Christ follower: pray that February 14th will be Daddy Awareness Day, that men and women will come to Jesus, seeing Him as their daddy and understanding His great love for them! 
   Jesus loves you so much!

The gentle, "No Bev."

      There definitely have been moments where Jesus has answered my prayers with a gentle and firm, yet oh so quiet, "No Bev.” There have been moments when He has answered with, "No," and I have not understood why.

      I am so glad that Jesus Christ is the ultimate authority. I love that he knows and wants what is best for me. It is humbling to think about how He knows what is best for me and wants that for me even more than I want it for myself.
     I love, love, love the times that I get to stand back in awe of Jesus especially after enduring something difficult. I love, love, love the times in my life where I can look back and think: "Wow Jesus, that was perfect," "That experience was so great," "it was totally in your timing, and thank you so much Jesus that you orchestrated it that way," and "Thank you Jesus for what You did in that situation."
     Jesus I acknowledge Your fingerprints all over every situation, circumstance, season, minute, moment in my life and I praise you for who You are and for always holding my hand.
     I am so thankful that the Holy Spirit helped me to hear His quiet and gentle, "No bev," no matter what the reason or circumstance. If the "No Bev," is about a decision that has to be made about how I spend an afternoon, a day, a weekend, a week, a season, or a year I want to be wherever it is that He wants me to be. I want to be in tune with the Jesus and keep in step with the Holy Spirit, even so I can hear His quiet, "No Bev."

Don't Let Satan Swipe Your Joy Card

Swiper sneaking up on Dora and Boots!

     As I sit here on the ground in between bookshelves at school I have been thinking about how there has been such an intense and really very heavy battle going on for my joy, it is totally unreal. I knew that once I got back from Santa Cruz that my life was going to change and be difficult, I do believe the holy spirit gave me a heads up about the season to come, but I honestly did not think it was going to be this difficult! I genuinely did not realize the next season of my life was going to be the most challenging season of my life. I did not and do not know how long this season is going to last, but I am holding onto Jesus with all that I am.
    I believe that Jesus Christ is at work all the time, but for whatever reason sometimes we see it and other times we do not. The past couple of weeks I have seen Him answering prayers in huge ways and moving a lot. It has been so amazing to have received freedom from insecurities, freedom from the bondage of unforgiveness that I had allowed myself to be enslaved to. I love how He has shown me the freedom He has given me to be honest with my friends, by genuinely being me and totally pouring out my heart and by just being me no matter how weird, silly, or serious I happen to end up being. I am so thankful for the freedom that the Lord has given me.  I felt like the holy spirit was going...hold on to Jesus Bevy, hold on.
     I know the following is going to be silly... but I see Swiper from Dora to be somewhat equivalent to Satan. Hold on...let me explain. I hope this makes sense... Swiper from Dora is a sneaky fox that tries to steal key elements that Dora needs in order to accomplish her mission; reaching her destination. I think we all have a JOY card and its up to us whether we allow it to get swiped; taken from us. I believe Satan acts similarly to Swiper and tries to steal it. In the show Dora can say "Swiper no Swiping," in order for him to stop what it is that He is doing. I think that in my life I totally have to pray and ask the Lord to help me, to fight through the power of the Holy Spirit, through the resurrection power to help me to not allow Satan to swipe my JOY card.
    To be honest I can name a few very close girl friends that always have a smile on their faces and I know it is the Jesus in them that totally radiates on their faces.
    My prayer: Dear Jesus, I thank you so much for this day and I ask that you help me to not allow Satan to swipe my JOY card. Jesus I want the joy that I have found in You to radiate all over my face that others may see the joy and peace that I have and wonder what it is that is different about me so that I can tell them about my awesome daddy! There has been such a fight for my joy and in Jesus name please give me strength to not allow swiper-Satan to not steal my JOY card. Thank you Jesus for never leaving me nor forsaking me. In Jesus name, Amen.

Is There Untapped Freedom?

Is there beauty in being transparent? Is there beauty or freedom in being completely honest with absolutely everyone? Is there untapped freedom? 

    Often within the past year I have felt like I have stopped myself from sharing my whole heart in conversations, in sharing revelations with beautiful friend overs lunch, I have not obeyed, I have greived the Holy Spirit. I have often found myself not sharing something that is really deep, a pain, a broken area of my life, or even something the Lord has whispered to me. I have often not blogged about something because it was something painful or "too personal," or about something that is near to my heart that I just don't feel like sharing, even though deep down I know I ought to share. And after I wave goodbye to opportunities to share, after I have disobeyed, after I have let my pride get in the way. I am so disappointed in myself!
     I think it is scary to be completely 100% honest with others and to share my heart. I have often sat alone at the end of lunch with a friend, a conversation, or beside my laptop with a blog entry that was never posted or that was shortened and ask myself: "Why?"
   The real deal:

    This blog was created with a my eyes only policy. This blog is not advertised by word of mouth. If you're reading this you may have found the link from facebook or we may have ended up having a conversation and somehow You found out I blogged and here you are. To be completely honest the idea of you reading this scares me more than anything in the world, but please continue reading. I hope you are encouraged by whatever you find here.

     This blog is me. It's all of me. It's my heart on a plate being served for whoever wants to read.

 At this point in my life I would much rather live on the edge of being 100% me than holding back. What's the fun or freedom in that? There is none.

     This year I will be praying that the Lord will help me to be honest with the people around me and be honest in my posts on this blog and I pray that He will use this blog for His glory, that you and others, that whoever reads this will be encouraged and pointed to Jesus Christ.

     It is so interesting that the word freedom has been on my heart for a long time. I used to think that was a word for another girl, but it was for me. I needed to be reminded that I was set free. I needed to be reminded that I AM FREE.

    I asked the Lord in September of 2011 if He would talk away my insecurities and give me confidence. I waited and waited and was frustrated that I still felt the same and that the Lord had not answered my prayer by saying, "Yes." I don't know if there was an exact moment when it happened, but all I know is that over the course of the winter conference He took away my insecurities and gave me confidence. He just did something inside of me, I don't know what He did, but I know that He freed me.

    Is there beauty in being transparent? Is there untapped freedom? I believe there is!

    There is freedom in tears. There is healing and freedom and that comes when you tell your story. There is freedom in sharing where you are in your walk, on your journey with Jesus Christ. There is freedom in sharing with others that you are walking through with Jesus.

Walking Out Our Faith

Walking out our faith- that has been on my heart for a little while.
    Forgiveness is a fight. Every day choosing to forgive and to love, denying my flesh, choosing love over forgiveness; its a battle. The battle is inevitable, how I fight is up to me. I will either walk, live, fight through the power of the holy spirit or I don't.

Prayer: Lord I have come to the realization that I try to do everything in my own strength. I push You away, I try to fight the battles and carry the weapons myself, but I can't even carry the weapons. Jesus thank You for reminding me that You have already gone before me in all things, the cross and the resurrection, You conquered death. You went before me in the biggest and most important thing in the world, Your love covered me, You payed my debt. Will You help me to remember that You go before me and that You have prepared the way? Amen.

A December 27 Sky

I spy with my little eyes a heart up above, it is Jesus sharing His heart, His love. This is a picture I took on the way home from spending time with my family over Christmas break. I am so thankful the Lord painted this heart in the sky on December 27, 2011. This is the most beautiful picture I have ever taken! I love this picture so much!

Discipline

 Discipline. At first I thought about this word and concept in regards to my parents disciplining me, but there is also discipline in being consistent in actions. I need to have discipline and spend time with Jesus by reading the Bible, because I need to renew my mind. And I love finding strength in His Word.

Beloved You Are Mine

You are beautiful in my sight
In You my daughter I delight
Your shape, your eyes, I formed it all
With gentle hands and a large smile
I carefully knit you for a while
My hands fell over you as I embraced you
I sang beautifully over you,
"You are precious my child, my child."

I named You and called You

I swept you out of darkness into My marvelous light

To reach the world with your beautiful bright light

As I draw you near I whisper in Your ear,

 "Beloved You are Mine."

His Promise

Jesus I know that you have not forsaken me. Your Word says you will never leave me nor forsake me. Thank you that the word speaks light and truth into every dark place, every thought that I have that I hold onto that I don't share with you, every hurt and pain, every lie from Satan, every discouraging word heard..