Taking In the Scenery

     I made it to California! I am so excited to be here.  I arrived yesterday and have been working hard alongside eight other students and the staff here.  Yesterday I would look around and kind of shake my head in disbelief.  I couldn't believe that I was here, its crazy to talk about being excited about summer project with friends and family and then to be here.  I'm just taking it all in.  There are about 50 to 60 thousand people living in this city.  Ive seen many with out homes, some as young as I am.  Please pray that the Lord will remind the students on this project that our hope is found in the Lord and to speak with excitement about this beautiful hope.
      I know I am here for a reason and that the Lord wants me here.  I look around and for the first time I don't see buildings, but so many faces, a spiritually needy city/community.  We are essentially setting up in the enemy's camp, but I believe the Lord desperately wants to see Santa Cruz claimed for Him, and truly captivated by the opportunity to have a relationship with Him.  I am thankful that we have access to the Prince of Peace, to our Heavenly Father.

    This blog is here to tell of this adventure and I would love to end each blog post with a prayer request and praise report. There is power and prayer and I am excited to also share praise reports, reports about the Lord answering prayers.  Thank you to those who have been in prayer for me through out this journey of coming on project.  I am so thankful for your prayers!
      PRAYER REQUEST:  Please pray that we (all 60 students on summer project) will go out into this community, even if its just to run an errand, pray that we will be light, salty, and showcase hope and love that we find in Christ on our faces and through our actions.
  PRAISE REPORT: all students arrived safely to help set up the Peter Pan.  thank you for those who have prayed specifically for peace, getting ready, traveling, and arriving here is quit adventurous but this whole process, from the praying while filling out the application to arriving-- I have had an overwhelming, indescribable peace that I am in awe of. Thank you for praying for peace. I feel His peace and it is amazing.

"Nothing Is More Beautiful"

I came across this quote today:

Develop an authentic, adventuresome and risky faith, one willing to follow God wherever He leads. Don't mistake femininity for passive, inactive faith. Are you willing to get in the trenches and get a little dirt on your face for Christ? Nothing is more beautiful.

I think I'm going to change the wording around a little and make it a prayer for this summer. I love this!

Sharing the Gospel in California

 Back in the fall of 2010 I knew where and how I wanted to spend summer of 2011 and it was selfishly.  I heard more about summer projects at a Campus Crusade for Christ winter conference. It was there that I prayed that the Lord would show me what He wanted me to do with this summer.  I had my eyes set on applying to go to on a summer project to South America and after attending an information session about this particular summer project I was approached by a leader at the conference who is also on NCSU Campus Crusade for Christ staff. He asked me what my plans were for this summer and asked me if I would consider going to Santa Cruz, California.  He said that there is a Spanish speaking population there and He suggested getting a little more grounded and equipped by going on a state side summer project instead of an international also being that I am a freshmen, I still have time to go on other projects. During that conference I was convicted on selfishly wanting to spend my summer. And one student during that conference was talking about summer project and was convicted of filling her name into her summer and she felt the Lord asking her if she would fill His name into her summer. I felt that the Lord was asking me that same question and He changed my perspective. I got home from encounter and applied to go on a summer project to Santa Cruz, California. I was selected to go on this summer project back in March and I was so excited!
The Lord has led me to share the gospel in Santa Cruz, California and I am really excited!!
    I found out a couple of weeks ago that I will be working at Miller's Sun Shops!Its so silly, but when I was younger I had the desire to work in a surf shop. I always looked up at the girl who worked as a cashier at a surf shop whenever I would visit the beach and go to a surf shop to get a t-shirt. I always thought that when I was a "grown-up" I would  live near the beach and maybe even work at a surf shop.  I am really excited about working there, meeting my co-workers, and building relationships with them.
   A lot of my friends are going really excited about summer project and I am too, but it has not I guess you could say, "hit me yet" or "reality hasn't sunk in" that I am going to California for 11 weeks. Its crazy awesome. I don't think it will sink in until I set my feet in the San Jose Airport or maybe it wont hit my until I got to sleep and then wake up in California. AHHH I am so excited!! And I feel so blessed to be able to go.
  I realized a couple of months ago that I have always trusted the Lord to keep me physically safe and to always provide for meals. I wanted to step out on faith and trust the Lord. The Lord has provided over $2226 and I am continuing to trust the Lord to provide $1174.  I am really excited to step out on faith and to continue trusting the Lord with providing all of my needs for this summer and the rest of my life.
  I am praying that I will learn more about the Lord and that He will continue to change my heart.  I am so captivated by who He is and how He moves. I am so excited to see Him work this summer.
  I am planning on blogging and I pray that you will be encouraged by how the Lord works this summer. I've never declared to friends that I have a blog and blogging is still new to me. I hope that you will see my heart for the Lord through this blog and be blessed to read about how He is working in the hearts and lives of people in California.
    Update: It is May 18 and the Lord has provided and the project fee of $3400 and I am trusting Him to provide money for food throughout the summer. The estimated costs for food this summer is $700 and I have $50 of that amount today.  If you would like to give you can give online securely at https://give.ccci.org/give , type in Beverly Benitez into the search bar and give securely online.  Trusting the Lord has been a journey.
   At some points I doubted the Lord, but then I prayed that the Lord would help me in my unbelief and help me to trust Him. I knew that if He wanted me to go that He would provide for me to go and He has!! I am so excited and humbled to think that the Lord has chosen to send me to California this summer. Please pray that I will decrease and that the Lord would increase. Please pray that even in my excitement in talking with unbelievers and believers about the Lord that I will become sensitive to the Holy Spirit at all times.

Singing a Song of Hope

I was singing in the car to a beautiful song tonight. I don't know the name of it, but a part of the chorus is: Just to know You and be loved is enough. The message and value of that sentence is amazing as I am finally starting to understand that only the Lord can and ever will satisfy the deepest desires of my heart and life. I love that every day I find that I need Him more and more. I love that I am getting to the point where I can say in agreement with that artist, yes, just to know the Lord and be loved by Him is enough.

Thank you Jesus for who You are and all that You are to me. Hallelujah, He is enough and His love is so deep!
P.S. The song I was singing to was Song of Hope by Robbie Seay Band

Better Than A Hallelujah.

"We pour out our miseries.

God just hears a melody.

Beautiful the mess we are, the honest cries of broking hearts"...lyrics from an Amy Grant song that I absolutely love.

 I believe that the Lord has His arms extended towards us wide open.  

      There have been many moments in my life where I have been just completely overcome with emotions and I come absolutely broken and I cant even speak and its beautiful to have a sister in Christ come over and pray for me when I cant even speak. I had the opportunity to pray with and cry with a beautiful sister in Christ as we both came realizing our brokenness and how the Lord wants and can use us. He can use us to reach others with His hope and love, even while we are so broken and are in need of healing. I am so glad that the Lord's promise to complete the work that He has started in us. I love that we can come to Him with a breaking heart and come to Him as we are, wherever we are. For a sister in Christ and I that was on a beautiful, Saturday morning at a horse farm as we looked out at two beautiful horses. The account of this beautiful morning is one that I will never forget, but one that I will always remember and keep treasured in my heart as a beautiful opportunity to come to the Lord completely broken and humbled, and in awe of how he orchestrates events and friendships and life! 

      "Society teaches us that anything less than perfect is unsuitable, undesirable, unusable, and unattractive...but pure reality teaches is that the Lord loves and uses flawed, unattractive, and broken--the apparently useless things of this world--to accomplish His greatest works."-- Kim Meeder

       I love the above quote, I love that the Lord can and loves using us, the broken to touch others and in the process He heals us. Its beautiful. Crying is okay, its great. Its not a sign of weakness, its a sign of healing and of vulnerability. The Lord sees those tears as precious because that's exactly what they are to Him. The Lord wants us to come as we are and I'm not ashamed to say that many of those moments are when,  we pour out our miseries and God just hears a melody, beautiful the mess we are. The honest cries of breaking hearts are better than a hallelujah. 

When His Peace Falls

      It is crazy to think about how ridiculous I act when I am trying to figure out what to do about something. I always try to get all the details and plan and think about things, and I run frantically. And later, not before, later after I've thought about something and I get all flustered about making a decision I decide to pray. Praying about every decision should be my first thought not my last. And its ridiculous how I get all worked up and then I give things to the Lord, acting as if I could handle them all myself, what a crazy thought.

     When I was trying to decide whether to go on a summer project, where, and if I should apply I started off by praying about it and I got this uncertain feeling about whether I should aply or not, I was uncertain because the Lord was not answering my prayer yet. I gave my summer to Him and asked Him to confirm whether He wanted me to go on a summer project with Campus Crusade this summer, by allowing me to get accepted. I truly surrendered it to the Lord, but I was a little anxious during the final days before I was supposed to find out if I was selected. I was selected for the trip three days after the deadline, but that was okay. The Lord wanted to tell me in His timing, His, not mine. I truly was perfect timing and I believe that He wanted me to trust Him in whatever the outcome was, because I had surrendered it to Him.

     Its so interesting to think about how I felt the second after Dawn told me that I had been selected to be a part of the Santa Cruz, California 2011 summer project. I said, "yes, awesome,: I did not scream, but I was really excited and in that moment I felt this "yeah, okay" moment.  Its like everything stops and all the noise of the world fades and I quietly say to myself,  "yeah, okay."I can't wait to experience these moments through out my life because they are precious. I can't describe it, but those are the two words that I say, think to myself when the Lord's plans are revealed to me and His peace falls over me and I am left speechless.   

Let Go and Embrace Beautiful Surrender

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.Jeremiah 29:11

  I would read this over and over and it was head knowledge but I don't think I actually took it to heart... I guess you could say.  I was okay with the idea of Jesus having control over certain parts of my life and I wanted a piece or two for myself. Essentially I was saying to the Lord that I was okay with trusting Him with w, x, and y, but z, I wanted z, because well, I trusted myself more than the Lord. To write that sounds crazy, to say that out loud sounds crazy, but inside that's essentially what I was saying to the Lord through my actions, attitude, and heart, and He knew it.

  At encounter I surrendered my year to Him and asked Him to do whatever He wanted to with it, that I didn't want control over any part of it and then...for me the even scarier part of it was... to say to the Lord that He could have my heart. Surrendering according to Merriam Webster is:

"to give up completely "    Surrendering means to does not include adding a condition on something, but instead to give something over to the Lord 100%, not 99.99%.

   I was prideful, thinking I knew what was best for me, but when I surrendering, it was beautiful and the outcome is greater and so much more...beautiful...might be the word I'm looking for...okay so I'll go with that...its more beautiful and its just right, its more beautiful than anything I could have ever come up with on my own. Because really....what do I know?

   Surrendering and giving the Lord 100 % control is so awesome. The above ties into a part of my life that I was holding onto and was not surrendering to the Lord, but I am not going to post yet, somethings are mean to be shared and other lessons are whispered quietly from the Lord just for my heart and this one was for my heart only.  I will say that its liberating to let go of control...the above situation is part of a beautiful story that one day I will get to tell....but for right now, I'll leave you with a link to a video that I think best ties my thoughts and heart on this post together.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSsRVQzUv6Q

Let go and embrace beautiful surrender.

Time With Jesus

 The world often sees valentines day as the worst day ever for single men and women. While Valentine's was absolutely lovely here. I spent time with my first love, the creator of love, and the One who died on the cross for me because He loves me so much. I spent time with the Lord in the word and in prayer for those girls and men who do not feel loved, were depressed, were contemplating suicide, and for believers, to wake up and realize that this is another great day, just like any other day that we can share about the Lord's love and how powerful and transforming it is. Believe it or not its a fact, the most suicides are committed on valentine's day, I pray that one day that fact, or statistic won't be true anymore. So from here on out, earthly view of valentine, "significant other" or not, I will continue to spend beautiful time with the Lord and in prayer.

Resting Well

   Close to a month for Christmas break was spent resting, but not spent well. Time wasted watching television and surfing the web overwhelms me and makes me a bit squeamish. Precious time slipped through my fingers. Life and purpose exists beyond what I fix my eyes upon. 
   Challenged and weighed down by past decisions there is a desire to spend time resting in the company of loved ones, living and loving intentionally.

Eternal Perspective

    When I was getting ready to leave Encounter, the winter conference held by Campus Crusade for Christ, I was anxious and scared, ready to go home and yet uneasy. Mixed emotions would be the best way to describe my demeanor. I was ready to start over, to in a way start over with the relationships that I was a part of and ready to view my day, life, others, and the Lord in a completely different manner.

      During Encounter the speakers told us about the perspective, and focus we should have, and I was convicted. I have been very, very selfish this semester as a new college student. I think, well, I'll admit that I was walking around a little straighter, my mentality was something like this: "Oh look, Bev is in college, nice. this is good. I was walking around, but not noticing that I was in my own little world, the world that revolved around, me. Yeah. That focus, was selfish, that focus, was not on others. A lot of times I get caught up in what am I going to do in the future? Future sometimes meaning  major, what am I doing later today with my friends, and basically, what am I doing in the future that will benefit... Bevy.

      The Lord convicted me BIG time and I am so grateful that He spoke to me about my focus. I am working on, putting into practice, having a different perspective on life, that I believe must first begin as a day by day conscious effort. I am working on, having an eternal perspective. Looking at others, and how I can show Christs' love for them and building relationships that may one day, Lord willing, give me the opportunity to share the HOPE that I have IN CHRIST. My step dad has told me many times that when we arrive in Heaven the only two things we will have is our salvation and the relationships we have with other people. I believe the Lord built us for relationships, because He wants to have a relationships with each and everyone of us.

      Tomorrow is my first day of the second semester of my freshman year of college and I want to be focused on the eternal perspective. I will be praying that the Lord will help me and that the Holy Spirit will nudge me when I need to adjust my heart, attitude, and eyes.

   Here is a song that reminds me to have an eternal perspective. My own little world by Matthew West

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9Yasgzjc0w

Sweet Friendship

    I prayed and anticipated Jesus to bring a godly girl friend into my life, similar in age, spiritual journey, and love for Jesus. Feelings of frustration flooded my heart as I waited for her.

    Excitement brewed inside as I desired to begin and cultivate  remarkable friendships. A friend extended an invitation to a freshmen Bible study and I was introduced to Jenn, one of my closest friends.
    Among passions and desires shared were tons of tissues as a sweet friendship blossomed through prayer and late night car conversations.   
    This blessed friendship came in Jesus' perfect timing. He did not withhold this friendship from me, He blessed us with it in His perfect timing.  For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.  Psalm 84:11

When Plans Fell Through the Cracks

    Senior year was spent at a desk filling out scholarship application after scholarship application. The decision about which college to attend lingered above as thirty second prayers were whispered rapidly. 
     As plan A and B fell through the cracks a new season of trusting Jesus with college decisions began.  Attending a community college and getting involved with a student ministry at another college was absolutely wonderful. Thankfulness floods my heart when thoughts linger on the growth and friendships Jesus allowed.